


Silk Spectre and the Masked Dumbass

by riot3672



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clothing Kink, F/M, Sexual Humor, Sexual Roleplay, watchmen kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 08:25:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4912318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riot3672/pseuds/riot3672
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanda already wasn't thrilled about Pietro's request to have them dress up like Watchmen characters for a roleplay, but when an emergency drill forces the two of them outside with the other Avengers to wait it out, it's only a matter of time before everything goes up in a flame of mortification.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silk Spectre and the Masked Dumbass

“Am I supposed to say something?” 

Wanda looked down self-consciously. Sure, the Scarlet Witch uniforms weren’t exactly modest, but this goddamn Silk Spectre costume Pietro had picked out could’ve passed for a sexy bumblebee costume, a so-skintight-it-was-practically-painted-on design of yellow and black leather. 

“No, just…we’re doing this one step at a time. Just the costume is enough,” Pietro replied.

Wanda hoped that was what he had said. The dolt had put on a fairly well made Rorschach mask, and she’d had to train to understand what he was saying.

While she was in full costume, Pietro had said something about not wearing any underwear under his brown trench coat. Normally, and maybe even with time, she’d pounce on that, but all this role play was reminding her of was that full body leather suit from _American Horror Story_ and there was nothing sexy about being impregnated with the Antichrist. 

“You’re gonna take off the mask when we have sex, right?” Wanda asked.

“Yeah, I’ll take off the mask. But we need to get to the sex first.”

“Okay.”

Wanda sauntered over to Pietro, swinging her hips, hoping she was pulling off a good smolder since she couldn’t smile naturally. She wrapped her arms around Pietro’s waist, ran the top of her foot up and down the inside of his leg. Sure enough, there wasn't anything under the coat. 

“You think you can take this off without ripping it?” she whispered in his general ear area.

“You’re not making it easy.”

She smiled. “I’ll try to make it harder.”

She kissed all the exposed skin on the bottom his neck, inch by inch, pressing her lips between the mask and his collarbone. His fingers glided down the leather, making the already hot and sweaty areas even warmer.

She lifted his mask just enough to kiss him, and his hands went to her ass, giving her a good squeeze. 

She pulled back a little, started teasing the zipper of her costume down. Even with Pietro’s mask, she knew exactly where his gaze was. She smirked.

Then, the alarm went off.

Both of them startled back, and not even a second later, F.R.I.D.A.Y. was announcing, “Emergency, Code Green. Report outside immediately.”

Code Green was one of the science emergencies. She didn’t need any more convincing.

That, and Pietro had her in his arms before she could even think to leave, and with a rush of discomfort and vertigo, she was outside, the only light the dim glow of a porch light.

Pietro dropped her to her feet and the two of them waited the few seconds it’d take for the other Avengers to get outside. Vision first, then Sam, Rhodey, Bucky, Steve, Natasha, Clint. Finally, Tony emerged, distinctly not in the lab coat he’d been wearing when he walked into the lab several hours before.

“Sorry guys, chemical spill,” Tony said as he pulled a remote out of his pants pocket and clicked more lights on outside. “Toxic stuff. I called the experts to get everything cleaned up. Should be—” Tony stopped talking, gaze heavy on her and Pietro. “Do you two hate yourselves so much that you have to become fictional superheroes?”

“What’re you—?” Steve began to say as he turned around. He let out a sort of gasp, jumped back a little. “Who’s—?”

Pietro removed the Rorschach mask, ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

“I can die happy knowing F.R.I.D.A.Y. got that on camera,” Pietro said as he winked.

“Tony, who’re they dressed up as?” Clint asked.

“Silk Spectre and Rorschach from _Watchmen_ ,” Tony replied. “Don’t worry, Steve, no one expects you to know what we’re talking about. The comic came out in the eighties.” Tony looked Wanda up and down, and as much as Tony had _never_ viewed Wanda in a sexual light, she couldn’t help but feel that there was no way to view her but sexually. “You got a really accurate costume.” Tony glanced at Pietro. “You got a really long trench coat.”

Pietro nodded slowly, eyeing Tony. Wanda wasn’t so quick to pretend. She looked into his mind, and he knew. The others, though…

“Why are you two in costume?” Vision asked. “It’s not Halloween yet, is it?”

“It’s a mystery of kids. They get their costumes ready weeks before the day,” Clint said. “The bigger dorks they are, the earlier.”

Tony sat down, and everyone else followed suit. Wanda waited a hair too long, and had to somehow get on the floor without spilling her boobs out. She zipped up the costume to the neck, but the cheap thing slipped down as she did. By the time she hit the floor, she was back at sexy bumblebee status and the guys were darting their vision away. Pietro went through one horrible second of almost sitting lotus style before Wanda punched him in the side and he sat on his knees. 

“We’re just really excited about Halloween,” Wanda confirmed. “Everything arrived today, and we figured…”

“Whose idea was it? You two do those cute twin costumes as kids?” Tony asked.

Wanda glanced at Pietro. “Pietro. It was Pietro’s idea.”

Pietro shot her a “really” look. “She’s a fan of _Watchmen_ too.”

“Apparently my views on the matter disqualify me.”

“Ozymandias is gay. You can’t deny it because you thought he was the hottest character in the movie.”

“He’s not gay. You can’t assume from a single frame in a three and a half hour movie that he’s gay.”

Pietro turned to Tony. “What do you think?”

“I agree with your sister. I get gay vibes, but I don’t get side-boys vibes. Maybe one of those super closeted ones, or the ace homosexual leaning ones.”

“What are you guys talking about? What kind of movie is this?” Steve asked.

“Besides Wanda, Ozymandias wasn’t the hottest one,” Tony added. “It was clearly Dr. Manhattan. It doesn’t get better than semi-holographic schlong for three hours.”

Speaking of schlong… God she didn’t mean to, but she looked right at Pietro. The awkward burned.

“Sounds like porn,” Bucky said in the most emotionless tone Wanda had heard in a while.

“It’s a noir superhero piece set in an alternate 1980s about corruption, vigilantism, and morality,” Pietro said.

“So why is your sister in bright yellow and black leather lingerie?” Steve asked.

Wanda held her breath.

“Hey man, it’s the costume! It’s not her fault Silk Spectre wears a suggestive costume. There aren’t any other lady characters.”

“Besides, Steve, it’s a thing now for all women’s Halloween costumes to be sexy,” Natasha added.

“Pietro, are you not wearing pants?” Sam asked.

Everyone looked to Pietro.

“I was _gonna_ put on pants, but _someone_ sounded the alarm.”

It was that moment that Sam, Natasha, and Rhodey realized what was going on. 

“Explain to me why you’re Rorschach,” Rhodey said. “He was the least,” he glanced at Tony, “paired with Silk Spectre out of all of them. Even the Comedian.”

“Have you seen Night Owl? He looks like Nicolas Cage in _Kick-Ass_. Nothing hardy about him.” 

“Then what about Ozymandias? He’s clearly your sister’s favorite and you even already have the hair and homosexual vibes,” Tony quipped.

“Do you know how difficult it is to find a good looking Ozymandias costume? It would probably be easier to paint my whole body blue and be Dr. Manhattan.”

“So why didn’t you do Dr. Manhattan, then?” Natasha asked, biting back a smile.

Pietro smirked. “Wanda doesn’t like blue.”

“Don’t you turn blue when you run?” Clint asked.

At least all the suggestion was lost on Clint. Vision, Steve, and Bucky still looked confused as well.

“Not those costumes, Clint,” Pietro replied.

“I don’t get female superhero costumes,” Bucky said. “It’d be so easy to shoot her in the heart with that design.”

“It’s a conspiracy,” Pietro said. “But it’s actually not men getting rid of women, but the opposite. Guys are too busy staring at the tits and get killed.”

“So…what happened to you?” Tony said.

Pietro nodded. “Barton has some amazing titties.” He put his arm around Wanda. “This one has a bad one. Makes life interesting.”

“I feel like Wanda has been wearing the sexier uniform with you around,” Tony said.

“Oh, you think that’s a coincidence? We’ve spent 90% of the missions finishing our task early so we can screw.”

“You’re not serious,” Steve said, genuine concern in his features.

“No, I really do appreciate the costumes. My man-slut costume is great too. Gets everyone going in a flash.”

Then, Clint figured it out.

Down to Steve, Bucky, and Vision. Or, well, Vision probably didn’t have enough nuance to human behavior to figure it out, and Bucky clearly didn’t care.

So, Steve.

“The Silk Spectre costume looks difficult to get off,” Clint said.

“It’s just a really tight romper. Takes skill, but possible,” Pietro replied.

Wanda wondered what it’d take to get Pietro to shut up and let their team leader not know they had kinks.

“Wait a minute!” Steve said. “It’s midnight! Who’s up trying on Halloween costumes at midnight?”

Tony put a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Steve, I gotta tell you. Those two were roleplaying. It’s not for Halloween.”

“What’s roleplaying?” Vision asked.

“It’s when you have sex in costumes or in character. Depending on the kink level, they may keep the costumes on during the do. Common variations include ultra sex and furries.”

“We don’t do ultra sex or furries,” Wanda said.

“Vision, if you and Thor had sex, you’d have ultra sex,” Pietro said.

Everyone looked to Steve, who was just as horrified as expected.

“I didn’t have to know any of this,” he said.

#

The chemical spill was fixed, and Pietro and Wanda returned to the room.

For a moment, they both stood there, unsure of what to do.

“So…do you wanna ditch the costumes and just make love? I feel like we have to subvert their expectations,” Pietro said, smiling a little.

She smiled back. “Sounds good.”


End file.
